Dear Employees,\u00a0<\/p>\n
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy,\u00a0
\nManagement has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of\u00a0
\nage and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE\u00a0
\n(Retire Aged People Early).<\/p>\n
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for\u00a0
\nthe SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced\u00a0
\nTermination)\u00a0
\n. Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW\u00a0
\nprogramme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED
\nonce, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems\u00a0
\nappropriate.<\/p>\n
Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for\u00a0
\nDependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early\u00a0
\nSeverance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED\u00a0
\nor SCREWED any further by Management.<\/p>\n
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT\u00a0
\n(Special High Intensity Training) as possible.\u00a0
\nManagement has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives to the\u00a0
\nemployees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please\u00a0
\nbring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give\u00a0
\nyou all the SHIT you can handle.<\/p>\n
Sincerely, The Management<\/p>\n
From Wall Street to Main Street and everywhere in between, stay up-to-date\u00a0
\nwith the latest news.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Employees,\u00a0 Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy,\u00a0 Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of\u00a0 age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE\u00a0 (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hanshafner.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/644","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hanshafner.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hanshafner.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hanshafner.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hanshafner.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=644"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.hanshafner.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/644\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":645,"href":"https:\/\/www.hanshafner.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/644\/revisions\/645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hanshafner.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hanshafner.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hanshafner.de\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}